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Monday, January 14, 2013

Why God?

Let me preface this by saying I do not believe that everything that happens is the will of God.   Feel free to ask questions and I'll address them to the best of my ability, but for right now my understanding is that the Lord uses ALL THINGS for His glory but doesn't necessarily orchestrate those things.  That said, He does have the power to stop things from occurring.

As much as we might sometimes despise it,  he chooses to allow self-will to have its reign in our lives, for better or for worse.  I know of very few Christians who haven't held some kind of grudge against the Lord at some point in time because He allowed a certain tragedy to completely darken their lives that they felt they should have been spared.  My prayer is that we would all search our hearts and give Him that pain so that we can be healed from the things that are brought into our lives from that unforgiveness in our hearts.

After coming to believe that Jesus was in fact the Son of God and not only that, but that He also chose to take my sin upon Himself and be crucified for me, and then resurrected to one day judge the living and the dead, I had a certain peace about my life that was secure.

Fast forward through my incredibly slow walk of faith to about 3 yrs ago when my faith was shaken and I had to come to terms with a God who allowed something to happen that hurt someone very dear to me.  I had rationalized all the other hurt I went through before I started praying (aka talking to Him daily) as what happens when one doesn't know the love of God.  I had now found if I was to continue to believe in a God who was always love, then I needed to have Him address this certain situation and show me how I could still trust Him with all those I held dear and prayed for.

Thankfully, the Lord did provide me a way to see through the pain of the situation, and see that He had also done things that I hadn't recognized at that time as being from Him, but He was trying to minimize the pain that would occur.  As asinine as it sounds, I had to forgive God for not doing what I thought He should have (and forgive myself for missing His leadings), and then trust Him with the ability to use the situation for the good of His kingdom.

I've encountered many situations since then where I've been blessed to see the Lord intervene in them.  There's been times where His intervention was heeded and others where He wasn't.  The results of not recognizing His hand can range from small to devastating.

I wonder how many times the Lord has prompted me to see something that I've just completely ignored not realizing that it was the mercy of God that I was shrugging off.  I want to walk into every blessing He has for me and walk through as little tumultuous pain as possible.  I no longer want to be flippant about listening to His powerful love that desires to guide me into His best.

I guess the purpose of me writing this is to give Him glory for all that He wants to do in me, and thank Him for doing it even though He knows how much of it will just fall by the wayside b/c I won't listen to Him.  I want to thank Him for loving me and not giving up on me, for being loving to me even when I was ignorant or callous towards Him and what He wanted to do.

My prayer is to continue to grow in my awareness of His still and quiet voice that leads me to still waters where I can be refreshed and trust Him, and to ask Him to not allow me to unknowingly ignore His attempts to keep me or my loved ones from harm whether it be emotionally, physically or spiritually.

Although I know that whether I choose to listen or not, or whether life happens and there was nothing said for me to act on, He will be there to comfort me through the ordeal.  He doesn't love like I do with conditions and walls.  He loves without measure and the more I seek Him, the more I find Him.  God is love and I desire to know that love in His fullness, and to love like Him.

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